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The world didn't end, but humanity did...

By Simran Parmar

Why do women's rights have no weightage in our society?
What is wrong with the men of this nation? What is it that makes them feel so superior to their mother sister, wife or daughter? Why can’t they see a woman as she is supposed to be- a woman. What gives them the right to think they can treat her as a non-living object, meant to be treated worse than plague?

Nirbhaya- that was the name given to the young 23 year old woman by a leading newspaper who finally succumbed to the might of men. That name could not have been more ironical. It’s a joke. She was brave, no doubt, but not without fear. She was conceived not knowing if she would be given birth to. She grew up not knowing if she was going to be educated. She lived not knowing when she would be beheaded by her own brothers for ‘honour’. She lived not knowing when her parents would decide to get her married because surely she has no say in something as trivial as becoming someone’s wife. She did not know if she was going to be burnt for not bringing a car in marriage, or if her husband just enjoyed beating her up after he had a few drinks. She did not know if, as if to complete the vicious cycle, she would abort her own child because it was a girl.

But ‘Nirbhaya’ did not even get a chance to live this wondrous life. 

But do not despair, she faced ample opportunities to feel fear. When she was traveling in public transport and someone ‘accidentally’ bumped into her, when she was walking on a crowded street, or when she was in a deserted lane. When she was in a club and was offered a drink, when she wore anything that showed an inch of her skin or when she was just minding her own business, going about life as she thought was normal. But of course she was wrong. How dare she go to office or watch movies with her friends? How could she even think of clubbing or that she could join in the crowd in a public place on New Years eve to celebrate like the rest of the world? She asked for it, everytime, for she was behaving like a ‘loose’, ‘painted’ and ‘immoral’ girl. She asked for it when she was 3 and when she was 68.


What about the other ladies of the world who have been fortunate enough not to face such brutal violence? They have been compensated, for they have been allowed to study, no matter that her equally educated, men of the so-called next generation, easily dissed her accomplishments. When she got placed, it was because the companies had to maintain a certain gender ratio, no matter that she later went on to beat her male peers and top her stream, or it was because of the way she looked, because surely she can’t simply have the ability to be better. They have been allowed to work, at lesser pay and with even lesser chances of opportunities, while being a topic of watercooler discussions because she wore a lipstick. 

When she got promoted, it was because she flirted with the boss, not because maybe, just maybe she has brains. Men lament the special treatment given to ladies, not realizing perhaps that most of the time the treatment is to protect her, from the ever hungry eyes of other men. They have been allowed to survive in this society, while being constantly reminded of that their freedom is limited, because they should not go out too late, they should be accompanied with male friends, because they need protection, from other males. Because she was unfortunate enough to be born a girl.



Don’t you understand? Don’t you get it that when you catcall or whistle at a girl its not just harmless fun? That its not fine for you and your friends to loiter around streets, staring and singing ‘chamak challo’ and ‘chikni chameli’ when a woman walks by? That its not ok for you to look the other way when all these things happen because she’s not related to you?

She came into this world scared, and she left it in pain, scarred, humiliated, dishonoured, with broken bones and a shattered soul. But then of course, she deserved it. Because she was a girl. And above all, an Indian. The world didn’t end, but humanity did.


Comments

  1. so true :( its just so sad :(
    -Poorva

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  2. It's high time we stopped behaving like the regressive sex we've been trained to be since time immortal. Why should we feel cheap if someone whistles at us or pinches our bottoms? I say, we should do just the same. Pinch their bottom too and pass as lewd a remark as they would. I criticized a man once in the bus for having a carrom board butt and I kid you not, he got off at the next stop. If he had his fun, I got mine too at his expense. So what's wrong with calling an eye for an eye? What is stopping us??? If someone tries to throw acid on our faces, we should do the same to them. We've been trained to be docile 'gaais' (cows) with the message writ large across our faces "Aa Bail Mujhe Maar". Hit the bloody husband if he raises his hand on you. If he was a parmeshwar, he wouldn't dare to raise his hand on you in the first place. If it's a case of marital rape, go with the flow to a point and then kick him so hard in the groin that he'll never ask for it again. Why should we feel inferior to them bastards? Just because we took a rib from them ages ago. If we have to take the very organ that makes them so bloody proud of being men, SO BE IT!

    I stopped being a WOEman ages ago. Our cries will never be heard. Our sarcasm will always fall on deaf ears. If you want to see change, be the change first!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well said. Its high time we believe in ourselves. I have been eve teased many times on walking road and every time I have confronted the guy and sometimes even called traffic police. Whenever I do such an act I feel a sense of accomplishment that may be next time this guy wont even dare to do such a thing.

      Delete
    2. vannida pooh...you so nailed it. What's stopping us to giving back,..may be a bit differently and while keeping our safety in mind. Beat up the husband and then leave the house,stop his hand, tell your mil that you just will not listen to her and ignore her and same goes for goons on road. Stop and glare back at them,don't cry when society makes you feel bad. actively remove all those ppl from ur life who treat you badly. remember your life will get difficult and in some cases you may get quite alone in the end but atleast you'll be able to live alone with pride and self respect intact !

      Delete
  3. i don't have enough words to describe my feelings... its soo disappointing :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. True. Every single word you wrote is true. A woman should act like this or you are fill in the blank. I'm sure all of us have heard that line once in our life. However, it's time we fight back. Women, especially in India need to stand for themselves. However, most of them do not. The reason? They are afraid, they worried about their families honor, they are worried about what the neighbors would say and so on and so forth. But we need to teach these women to stand up for themselves. As education starts in school, we need to teach girls in school the importance of standing up for themselves and the boys to respect and honor the girls in their life.
    P.S. did you hear about the comment the President's son made?
    Josie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://zeenews.india.com/news/nation/presidents-son-calls-protesting-women-dented-painted-apologises_819156.html

      Delete
  5. :( i just done know how to express what I am feeling. Words are not enough. This discrimination has to stop and it has to start at home. Women have to stand up for themselves , nobody is going to save you if you cant stand up for yourself. You need to stand up for your own rights, you don't have to be the only one in your family who has to sacrifice and adjust every time so as to make your father, brother and your in-laws happy. We have developed this habit of adjusting to discriminations based on gender, weather its at workplace or home. When our in laws torture us for minor issues like what to wear , we say "Ladkion ko ye sab adjustments karna hi padta hai ghar main shanti banane k liye". There are many females out there who believe in this discrimination and then they blame the society that discrimination is there.We are the SOCIETY.Ladies you need to believe yourself first that there is no discrimination and then expect the world to believe it. If all of us change our mentalities then may be our next generation will have a "gender discrimination free society"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree.. It should start with us.One of the resolution for the new year, stand up for what I believe and what I want. :)

      Delete
  6. it is heart breaking . I cried when i heard about her death . It is a sad day for this country . It would have been better if the world had ended on 21 st !

    ReplyDelete
  7. well written and so true ! you know, since childhood i have never been able to laugh at 'non-veg' jokes ...no matter whether it was cracked by girls or boys. My girlfriends called me uptight and boys in my grp of friends called me 'serious'...but i genuinely didn't like boys and girls making fun of a girls' anatomy or sexual organs. i still don't like it. I proactively shun all bollywood songs and movies which objectify women. i still don't encourage crude jokes and categorically tell colleagues and friends to not make crude non veg jokes in front of me.they don't ....and i get labelled uptight and boring ...so be it. i am ok with it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have no words to put my feelings and thoughts into..all I can say is 'only if...'

    ReplyDelete

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